Recovery

Hi Everyone - Just wanted to update you on Bonnie's recovery (sister Cindy is writing).  Bonnie had her post-op doctor appointments yesterday and the good news is her lab results from the surgery were negative.  There was no cancer found in any tissue removed during the surgery last week (yeah!).  She is still in pain and relies on the pain meds for now.  Her doctor tells her that she will see improvement in her healing over the next week (and less pain).  David's sister came in yesterday for a few days to help out, which will be great.  Thanks for all your continued support for Bonnie as she recovers.

Surgery

(Note - I'm Bonnie's sister Cindy and she asked me to update the blog).  The surgery is done and went as expected.  What else can you say about it, ugh! (I wrote another idea here but erased it as I'm not sure how raw one can be on these blogs).  Bonnie stayed at Duke last night, with David by her side, and she is expected home today.  She was awake and hungry when I saw her and I'm sure they were serving an appetizing dinner of something probably brownish/grayish/mushy.  Many thanks for all your love and support.  

Surgery scheduled

FYI, have to go in for surgery at 10:30 am, actual surgery is scheduled for 12:00. Finally a time!

Freaking out!

So basically, I'm freaking out. Surgery day after tomorrow. Went to work and tried not to think about it. Ended up thinking about it anyway. Really don't want to do it, know I have to, still don't want to do it.

My sister flies in tomorrow and we are going to try to have a "I'm-not-thinking-about-surgery" afternoon. My big plan is eating something large and chocolate-y. However, if today is any indication, I won't want anything to eat at all. For me, lack of appetite is an indicator of huge stress. Virtually nothing stops me from eating. I can count on one hand the times I've not wanted to eat, and all of them are really bad.

For those of you who haven't been keeping up with my hair updates (yeah, riveting, I know) here is a photo update. It really is growing in! It actually looks somewhat like I planned it. Eyebrows help, I guess.

To all my friends at Cornucopia yoga--enjoy your down dogs for the next couple of weeks, I will miss you!

Tick, Tock

So we are getting closer and closer to the big, horrible day. Now less than a week away. Sigh. I've done a pretty good job of not thinking about it much for the past month, but as the date draws nearer, it is definitely getting harder and harder to ignore. The proverbial elephant in room. Although in this case, there are two elephants. Ugh.

I'm trying to pretend my sister is coming for a "visit," rather than coming for my surgery. I'm also trying to pretend that all the little things I need to do before her "visit" don't pertain to the fact that I will be out of commission for approximately two weeks after the surgery (no, I really LOVE cleaning out my car, really). I went in Monday for my scheduled pre-op screening. No biggie, just more of the same "blah, blah, blah" as the last two times I've had surgery.

For those of you who haven't heard the plan, here's some info. I'll go in for surgery sometime in the morning of April 21, next Wednesday. I don't have an exact time until I call on Tuesday, April 20. They have cancellations etc. so they won't actually schedule my time until the day before. Cindy is coming in on Tuesday the 20th and will stay with us until Sunday. She will provide back-up for David and help with the kids. Yuma knows what is going on, but I didn't give him many details. When I told him what they were going to do in the surgery he said, "Are you serious?" and looked like he couldn't believe they would do something so barbaric. Believe me kid, I can't believe it either, but that's where we are today.

The surgery is scheduled to last anywhere from 4-6 hours, that is the bilateral mastectomy and the placement of the tissue expanders. If all goes well, I will leave the OR with the tissue expanders in place. If my skin won't tolerate it, or if there isn't enough skin to proceed, I will have to wait and get the expanders later in a separate surgery. That would suck, by the way. I will roll into recovery and stay there until they deem it ok for me to be admitted. I'll then go up to my room, stay the night, get pain meds, and be discharged by 9:00 am the next morning. I'll go home with 4 drains to maintain. Yesch. I've requested a nurse from home health to come in to help with the drains, so that should make it some what easier.

I'll be out of commission for about 2 weeks. Not a lot of movement, no lifting, no reaching overhead, no driving etc. Everyone is different with recovery so who knows if it will be 2 weeks, 3 weeks, less than 2 weeks, whatever. We have to see.

Mentally, I'm pretty up and down. Trying to do yoga, stay busy, do art, whatever to take my mind off of it. I'm going to ask David or Cindy to post a note here once I'm out of surgery so everyone knows that I'm done and how things went. Thanks for all your support. You continue to amaze me with your love and support. Send me some good surgery energy for next week. Until later...

Femara sucks!

In March, I started taking this anti-cancer drug called Femara (or Letrozole if you want to know the generic drug name). Most people know about Tamoxifen, but fewer people seem to know about Femara.  It is in the class of drugs known as an aromatase inhibitor, which basically means:


It blocks the enzyme aromatase (found in the body's muscle, skin, breast and fat), which is used to convert androgens (hormones produced by the adrenal glands) into estrogen. In the absence of estrogen, tumors dependent on this hormone for growth will shrink. 


My tumor was estrogen positive, which means it grew larger due to the presence of estrogen in my body. This drug is supposed to keep estrogen from "feeding" any possible future tumors. It is supposed to reduce my chances of a recurrence by 50%. Okay, that's all good. 


Now for the small print. And this is why it sucks. It makes me feel about 80 years old. Like I've run a marathon a day for about a month and my muscles and joints are so stiff and tight, that I can barely walk across the room without wincing. It's worse in the morning and evening, but also hurts after sitting a while (oh, you mean like in my JOB???!!!).  The doc recommends the usual pain relievers--Advil or Alleve, both of which work a bit. I'm reluctant to take it every day, however. 


Yoga helps, and I've started doing it almost every day just to get some relief, but for the most part, it kind of sucks. 


Okay, enough about that. Let's talk hair. I finally was able to upload a photo to show how much my hair has grown in in the past month. I know it's not nearly as luxurious as it once was (ha ha) but I am finally starting to look like I have a buzz cut. I'll take a buzz cut over the cue ball any day. I'm hatless all the time now and hardly even think about my lack of hair these days. Well, with one exception--my driver's license photo! Damn, damn, double-damn. This WOULD BE the year that my license is up for renewal. The ONE FREAKIN YEAR THAT I'M BALD. I've put it off since March 17, but I may have to bite the bullet and bring the wig back out for one last hoorah. Ugh. I just can't do a license photo with so few hairs on my head.  What do you think? Wig or not? Weigh in on this very important decision, folks. I'll be going sometime this week. 


Hugs and easter bunny chocolate.