Next Round-Monday!

Sorry, haven't been up to blogging recently. Have been either battling fatigue & some lingering nausea or have been at work. I know, I know it's crazy. Week three means I get to go back to work. Before you scoff, let me say that when you feel like crap for two straight weeks, going back to work is actually a good thing. Normalcy, good. Sickness, bad. See?

So, I've been working, mostly half days, trying to focus on something other than the fact that I will be back in the chemo chair come Monday, November 23 and possibly sick the entire week of Thanksgiving. Ugh. We are adjusting my meds this go round so I am really hoping that I don't experience the same nausea as last time, but we will wait and see. Maybe I'm being unrealistic in expecting meds to help as much as I want them to, on the other hand, I can't believe that this is really the way it has to be. So it is possible that I will be spending Thanksgiving at the table, but it is equally possible that I won't. Ugh, I hate uncertainty.

And lemme just comment on this craziness that the media is reporting on these days about those whacked out recommendations to wait until you are 50 for a mammogram. WTF people? This is just so freaking insane, I just can't believe it. Yet again, we are supposed to chose to allow ourselves to get really sick before we seek help (to save the insurance companies a buck no doubt), as opposed to getting screened early and potentially avoiding late-stage diagnosis and late-stage treatment. Simply insane. I think we know enough about breast cancer in women under 40 to safely say that if you don't catch it early, your chance of survival isn't good. But I guess those women just don't matter, is that what we're trying to say, cause that is definitely what it sounds like you're saying to me.

Off soapbox, back to blog.

Chemo Monday, birthday party with 9 boys Saturday. Woohoo! I AM CRAZY!

Took the wig out for a spin today

Finally felt good enough to go into work for a few hours today. Whew! What a relief from all that nausea. Last week was from hell. We have to try something new next go round, that's for sure. I woke up with nausea, went to sleep with nausea, and dreamed about throwing up. That really is my definition of hell.

Had to make a Target run today before going into the office and felt it was time to break out the wig. I have really, really, really regretted shaving off the remaining hairs on my head, even though I knew it was time. I feel so exposed with a bald head. I've only gone bald at home so far, so going out in public was decision time for me. Do I wear the horrible wig? Do I go commando? I thought I'd give the wig a try since I haven't put it on my head since the day I bought it. It is a bit scratchy and warm, but I was told it looked pretty natural (although granted it was someone who knows me and presumably likes me that told me. ) I wore it for about 4 hours and couldn't wait to take the damn thing off. But it did help me to avoid unwanted attention in Target.

So I stayed too long at work and got pretty exhausted, but I got some stuff done that I really needed to and I got to be social for a bit. The walls at home were starting to close in, so even work was looking GOOOOOOOOD.

My wonderful husband gets bonus points for bringing home Vietnamese pho tonight. He is so awesome!

Doc Marten boots had to be returned, more on that next post. I'm still kick ass without them, right?

WAH!

Ding! Ding! Round 2

Had round 2 on Monday, as you can see it hasn't agreed with me much. Spent most of yesterday in bed, spending most of this morning in bed again. I didn't even get my "promised" 2 days of steroid protected "good days" so I am bumming. At least the first round I felt okay for the first day after. Yesterday just sucked. Nausea, headache, and body aches. Not even acupuncture helped much, although my appetite is somewhat better today than yesterday.

Still hanging on to the hair, although David commented on my "male pattern baldness" this morning. Thanks, hon. Mostly the sides are giving up the fight, the stuff on top seems to be grasping with all its might. Hang in there follicles!

As promised, I did buy some kick-ass boots over the weekend. I had to order them on the web, nothing in Chapel Hill spoke to my inner 17-year old. So I bought some mid-calf lace-up Docs in black (natch) and will post photos once they arrive. They should be a definite pick-me-up.

Still debating whether or not I will actually wear the expensive wig I purchased. I don't know how different I will feel if I actually lose ALL my hair as opposed to most of it. It is looking a bit on the mangy side right now, but I just can't seem to give in and razor blade it off yet. Hope rings eternal.

I've been awake about 30 minutes, time to hit the sack. Later with more updates!