Losing the hair battle

So I finally gave in and shaved off the hair. Well, David shaved it for me while I cried a bit. I got some support from Bella the cat, who clearly knew I was upset at the loss of my hair. She walked through piles of shaved hair to be with me. That's kitty love.

We have been receiving some amazing dinners from friends and neighbors, thanks everyone. We are still so touched by the outpouring of support we are receiving and so grateful for everything. Thank you!

Yuma finally got over strep throat and went back to school today. I went in to the office to catch up. It is stressful trying to keep it all going, but being at work definitely takes my mind off chemo. I will be at work for the rest of this, my "good week" and will start round 2 of chemo on Monday, November 2. Not sure how it will affect me this time. Could be better, could be the same, could be worse. Who knows. I am not looking forward to it, regardless, but round 2 means one less round to go through. Only 4 more after that. I go every three weeks, so my last one is in late January. Yippee!

Day 12 and I STILL HAVE HAIR!!!!

I can't tell you how surprised and thrilled I am to still be holding on to a full head of hair at this point. I was told it would start falling out in earnest around day 10 and so far I haven't lost anything other than the usual shedding I do on a daily basis. I'm sure it won't last, but for now I'm feeling lucky. Yuma's grandparents just sent me some beautiful scarves from Japan for the inevitable, but for now, yippee!

Thanks again to everyone who has been feeding us for the past 2 weeks, we are so grateful to have this part of our lives under control. You are amazing and your food is too!

I'm scheduled for round 2 of chemo on November 2, and hoping to be back at work for most of this coming week before then. Nausea and insomnia are vying for the title of worst side chemo effect, with insomnia edging out nausea by a very slim margin. As someone who lives for naps, not even being able to sleep at night or properly nap is pretty hard on me.

Emotionally, I'm having some difficulty getting my head around chemo and find the thought of going back in for round 2 still pretty terrifying. Although we now know more of what to expect, it is pretty stressful to wait for something that you know will make you feel so horrible.

Yuma and Caroline are both sick with something I don't want, so we have the Lysol wipes and anti-bacterial hand sanitizer out in full force. I have everyone washing hands more now that the paranoia has set in at catching some awful virus/germ.

I hope Jennifer is doing well on her Avon Walk this weekend, the weather hasn't been so fabulous, so good luck Jennifer!!

More hair updates to come.

So yeah, back to ME

Good news: I am less nauseous. Bad news: I probably won't sleep until 2011. We finally gave in and called the triage nurse about the lingering nausea yesterday. They said I should feel better a week after chemo and I DEFINITELY wasn't feeling any better on day 7. David called the nurse and they switched me back to the heavy hitting post-chemo anti-nausea meds, but who knows how long I can safely take them (David forgot to ask that part.) So maybe I'll lose my hair, but on the bright side, I could grow a second head!

I'm sure this is so 2007, but...

I recently bought Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr and am finding it very empowering. I don't know why I never heard of this before I had cancer, but clearly I was very self-absorbed! I highly recommend it to anyone who is caring for/living with someone with cancer, it has a lot of tips for the CANCER-EEE, but would be just as informative for the one who deals with all the shit that cancer brings, but gets none of the goodies out of it. I particularly like her side notes of "faux pax" anecdotes and witticisms. Very funny.

I bought the book when I went WIG SHOPPING last week before chemo felled me. There is this fabulous little wig shoppe (that's for David who HATES the extra "pe") in Durham owned and operated by a BC survivor. There are a ton of cute hats, buttons, books, wig accoutrements (that word is for Ronda, who I remember in high school used it for the first time so that I could understand it, thanks, R.!) So yeah, I bought a wig. It sucks, I never wanted to buy a damn wig. Those of you who know me, know I'm vain about my hair. I love my hair, always have. Long or short, I like my hair. Losing it will really suck. I figure I got 2 days left. It will be documented of course. Kate will be photographing the whole process. We're trying to get the kid into art school, cancer's gotta be good for something, dammit!

It's Sunday, that must mean, I'm nauseous!

Thanks to everyone for joining my conversation. Forgive me if it becomes a bit, shall we say, repetitive. Ya know, blardy, blardy, nausea, blardy, nausea, blardy...It is my life right now.

When I started chemo on Monday, the PA said I'd probably have two good days, where I basically felt pretty normal. That would be due to the steroids on days one and two post-chemo. Unfortunately, I only had a half day of normal until the crud skipped in and made me jump rope.

Since then, things aren't so rosy. It's actually somewhat like that first trimester of pregnancy again. All smells make me want to hurl. Eating makes me want to hurl, not eating makes me want to hurl. Thinking about eating or not eating makes me want to hurl. Yeah, you get the picture.

So here's scoop about the next 5 months. I get to do this EVERY THREE WEEKS! Woo-hoo bring on the cheese doodles! Every three weeks I will be sitting my ass up in the oncology treatment room with about 50 others awaiting their chemo bag of fun and kicking back for the two hours it takes to receive the goodies. I just can't wait for round two. Bring it on!

Chemo runs through the end of January. 2010. That's 2010 in case you missed it just then. I will go through all the major holidays, Halloween (my bald alien costume is in the works as we speak), Thanksgiving (no stuffing for me, thanks), Christmas, (oh, cool, another hat!) and New Year's (thank God it's almost over). While I am planning on taking one day at a time, chemo seems to be pretty rough on the bod, so I might not be at work very much for the next few months. I am working with HR to get FMLA and the Kiel donation plan up and running. That should ease my stress a bit about missing so much work.

Thanks for reading. More stunning insights to come, I'm sure. : )

Started chemo on Monday and, well, it basically sucks

Everything you heard about chemo, yeah, it's true. It really does suck that bad. I've been nauseous for about a week and can't remember my own name most of the time. Feel generally like crap.

So I decided while I'm enjoying five minutes of lucidity, that I'd create a blog to keep everyone updated on treatment etc. I thought Facebook would be sufficient, but I was incorrect. I just can't keep up with it all and just really want to keep those that want to be informed, well, informed.